"I Quit!"

 I think this is a common parenting dilemma: do I let my child quit an activity that they wanted to sign up for?  A friend of mine is currently wrestling with this one.  Her 5 year old daughter wants to quit dance class.  Most people have weighed in on her Facebook page saying no, do not let her quit.  It seems to be the common belief that to let a child quit one thing will only encourage them to quit everything they ever do.  It seems a bit extreme.

 

My husband and I have been firm with our children in joining team sports. “You aren’t just making a commitment to play, but a commitment to your team.  A team can’t function without all of its players.”  This seems fair and a concept just beyond that of sharing.  So if they sign up, they are in for the season.  But with individual activities, I can’t see taking such a hard line.  I encouraged my friend to tell her daughter that they paid through the month, so she will finish the month.  In that time,  her daughter could change her mind and they might buy some time to figure out if there is something going on that needs to be addressed, such as a problem among the kids.  But, why aren’t kids allowed to decide that for whatever reason, they don’t enjoy an activity? Isn’t that what they are there for, enjoyment?  Don’t we want our children to develop their own passions?  Should we really encourage them to participate for participation’s sake?  

No one wants to encourage their child to be “a quitter”, but I think that quitting is something that we do all throughout our lives.  Who hasn’t quit a job?  You quit living in one place to begin living in another.  You, hopefully, quit bad habits.  You quit dating people.  You quit some friendships.  You quit depending on your parents and become independent.  Maybe we should quit imposing these mandates on our children based on our own fears of their abject failure in life and begin accepting that sometimes, they just don’t want to dance.