The Unexpected

In life there are moments you don’t expect to experience.  Maybe it’s not that they are so wildly unusual or even exciting, it’s just that they aren’t where you would have predicted yourself to be.  This is a moment for me.  Sitting in an Ann Arbor coffee shop.  Not unusual.  Studying.  It is a little unusual being that I am 39.  Studying with my 18 year old daughter.  Much more unusual.  All of these elements together, with John Lennon singing “Imagine” struck a reflective chord.  Not exciting, but I can’t help but think how incredibly blessed I am to share this moment with her.  With her being away at college certainly we would have those moments of talking and shopping and visiting in coffee shops.  But with me returning to school to complete my degree we have now been gifted with a unique experience. 

I have never been a mother who has subscribed to the theory of friending my children.  I have friends, they have friends.  I am their only mother.  I will not let that role be diminished or compromised by trying to be their friend.  As Channing grows older, she requires less of my  “mothering”.  I think as parents we often feel conflicted about that process.  It makes me proud that she is self sufficent in so many ways.  She is making her own place in the world in a very big way.  I could stand on my chair and clap I am so proud.  On the other hand, I miss that sense of being needed by her.  I worry about those moments when she may struggle or even fail.  I went through them, I know she will be ultimately be fine.  Still, I worry.

So here we sit at the corner of S. Main and E. Liberty,  a mother and daughter in pursuit of higher education.  We are doing together what most people do with their friends.  Maybe the lines of parenthood and friendship do get a little blurry over time.  Maybe the moments we don’t ever anticipate are some of the most telling. Maybe I’ll just finish this blog entry and enjoy this unexpected moment with my daughter.