John Mellencamp - A Ride Back Home (English) (Lyrics) - MusicPlayOn.com
It was a summer night. The kids were in bed. I didn't feel like building a fire but I wanted to be outside. I kicked up my feet in a lounge chair. The stars were bright. The wine was uncorked. Crickets were competing with Mellencamp, Life Death Love and Freedom. I can only say, it felt like a holy moment.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Stranger at the Door
Leaving your children home alone always carries some element of risk. Even when you have confidence in them, you worry. Now I know why.
Wednesday my children had the day off school. I had a long overdue hair appointment. My nine year old son was awake and eating breakfast. My twelve year old and four year old daughters were still sleeping. I gave my son some instructions and left. Going down my dirt road, I passed a white car going suspiciously slow since most cars fly down our road. It made me uneasy thinking I had left my driveway empty when I left. I thought I would call my son and just remind him to not answer the door in case anyone stopped by. Before he could respond to my reminder, I heard a man’s voice. I could not believe what I was hearing. My son then told me that my daughter had already opened the door for some guy in a white car! I was only a mile down the road so I whipped through an open gravel turn around and flew through a stop sign. I was insane, fully expecting to smash head on to this car if it came along. My son then told me the man had left. I insisted on talking to my daughter. How could she do that? She was my responsible and cautious child, how could she open the door to a stranger when they were home alone? She was rattled. She had just woke up and she wasn’t sure why she had done that. She was scared but felt pressured because the man had seen the kids from the door.
I wanted to puke all over myself. I still have a difficult time understanding. My son has a nature that is incredibly trusting and somewhat oblivious. I expect to have to remind him. I would have never dreamed that my older daughter would do such a thing. It was a wake up call. No matter how much you impress upon your children the importance of different safety precautions, you just never know.
Pure Michigan
Tim Allen's voice and the Pure Michigan campaign are magic. If you don't feel like you love Michigan, deep, heartfelt love, you just aren't listening to the words.
Fall Ritual
One of our family rituals of fall is visiting the apple orchard. We are fortunate to have an orchard within about 10 miles of our home, so it’s usually several visits during the season. Our first visit this year was on a gloriously sunny day. When we arrived there were cars parked along the road. We were not the only family eager to get apples and fresh made doughnuts. Walking towards the cider mill, we were captivated by a unique variety of pumpkins outside of the front doors. Several formal pumpkin patches had been created on the parking pad. Pumpkins were grouped according to type and then size. There were the traditional bright orange pumpkins. There were very sophisticated white pumpkins. There were these unique, almost marbleized pumpkins with shades of maroon, to burnt orange, and olive green. Even the shape was different from the other white and orange pumpkins. Their shapes were exaggerated, like if you pushed your fist into a balloon and then sectioned off the resulting bulges. There were also pumpkins that resembled something from a horror movie. They had what could only be described as peanut shell-like growths over them, each pumpkin infected to varying degrees.
Our family of six, literally stood for nearly 15 minutes just surveying the different forms and colors. Maybe that doesn’t sound so out of the ordinary, but when I consider what we knew to be on the other side of the doors, it is amazing to me that we could be delayed by anything short of a rabid dog guarding the doorway. Once we moved nearer, the doors swung open, and ahhhh. The smell. In unison, we all breathed deep. Crossing the threshold, we resumed our mission, straight to the line at the bakery counter. It was several families deep. Knowing I could place my order with my husband who would then stay in line with the kids, I was free to roam about the orchard store. Its cement floors and roughhewn wood shelves and crates gave me nostalgia. It felt like a barn I might have played in as a child. So many new local items had been added to the inventory of the seasonal shop. There were new jams, and a whole array of flavored honeys. I was just getting started. But, like being woke from a dream, I was interrupted. My husband and children had gotten the doughnuts, caramel, apples, and some old fashioned candy sticks. They were now anxious to get home, to complete the mission and enjoy what we had been anticipating for weeks. There is definitely something to be said for rituals.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Right around the corner
It's time to be thinking about costumes. The weeks will go quickly and soon Halloween will be here. If you are going to be creative and put something together this is a great time to start. We encouraged the kids to make their own costumes last year. Somehow that required a lot of time and energy from us parents, but it was fun. Optimus Prime required the most time. The Madd Hatter was a hybrid. We bought some of it and added some detail. The Boo kitty we bought, but it was so warm and cozy, I wish all costumes were made like that one. Looking forward to seeing what the kids come up with this year.
Friday, October 1, 2010
The Message I Sent
When I was contemplating quitting my job to stay home with my four children I struggled with the decision. I had always thought my only real concern would be whether or not we could afford it. When the time came I felt overwhelmed by how many factors there were to consider. One concern that had never occurred to me before then was what message I was sending to my children.
I hoped that my children would see the commitment that their dad and I had to our family. We explained to them that we would have less money, significantly less. I think our oldest daughter understood that concept very well. She was a teenager and fully comprehended that less discretionary spending would not be in her favor. As a result I think she was less enthusiastic about the idea. The younger children did not seem concerned, but to them the concept of money was still very abstract. Yet we did our best to explain the value of time spent together and how fewer demands on me would mean less chaos at home. The children seemed to understand. I still felt very conflicted.
I wondered if quitting a job that was very rewarding for me and that my children knew I valued would send the message to them that it is impossible to have it all, that you have to choose between a career and your family. I didn’t believe that to be true then, and I still don’t. I just know that for me, I felt trying to juggle the demands of my work and of my family had become increasingly difficult after the birth of our fourth child. I knew I could continue trying to find some sort of balance, but while my work demanded my very best, my children were getting what was left. They were getting the part of me that was exhausted and tired of catering to the needs of others. I wanted them to have the benefit of my energy, my patience, and my attention and not just the remnants of those things. I continue to talk with my kids about how fortunate our family is that I am able to be at home. They have seen me go through some highs and lows as I transitioned to being a stay at home mom; it wasn’t always pretty. But I think as time goes on and they get older they are able to appreciate the stability they have and some of the advantages of having a parent at home full time. I can say without pause that they have never had to miss an opportunity to participate in any extra- curricular activities that appealed to them because of scheduling conflicts of mine. And they know they have all of me, day or night.
I want my children to pursue higher education and whatever careers they choose with a sincere passion. I don’t want them to feel a half-heartedness because they think that someday they will have to choose between a rewarding career and their family. If they do come to a point of making a choice, I hope they will reflect on their own childhoods and feel blessed to have had me at home, regardless of what they decide for their family.
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